Loving your friends

So I seem to have this pattern of falling for my friends. We had this moment tonight, he caught me looking at him--really looking at him--it even made him lose his train of thought. He was smiling. Is this going to be the wrong decision? Should I not act on this? Why not? Because I love him too much? Listen to me, I'm declaring my love for someone I'm not with. This is why I get confused, because I'm allowed to love my friends but not in the way that I want to love them. Unless I am allowed to do that. I shouldn't have mentioned Nick. The dynamic completely changed after that. Note to self, never again mention Nick. Its a vibe killer.